just beginning
My first class at Paraclete is coming soon, but I admit to an entire dinner party of mixed feelings about it – everyone that I have talked with at the Center has been incredibly enthusiastic and supportive, and everyone has reassured me not to worry, and that things will work out, that basically I should wait to plan any classes until they figure out some things about enrollment and know how many kids have signed up (and what kinds of kids those are). And while I know that this is true, the “Type A” part of me wants to write out lesson plans for the first three months. I’m also a little anxious because the description of my class that has been posted on the Paraclete website is a little different from the kind of class I had envisioned teaching. (No, “Ms’s House of Rock, a class exposing students to music from hip hop to classical; bring your own violin or one will be provided for you” wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.) However, I am trying to reassure myself that actually whatever work I will be doing there will be worthwhile and appreciated and will challenge and grow me drastically, and whether it is specifically what I originally envisioned or not does not matter much. So I know that I just need to find some patience and curiosity and sort of go with how things work out and with whatever happens, with whatever kinds of kids I get, and that any situation will be a great one.
But part of me is still a little worried – what if no kids sign up? What if the ones who do are expecting a class on rock, on hip hop, on jazz, and don’t care about classical music or learning to play the violin? [wait, isn’t that what I am planning to instill in them – an appreciation (if not love) for classical music, even if they have no background in it?!] What if I can’t hold their interest? What if I’m not cool enough for them? So, yes, part of me is worried, but part of me is also trying to learn just to accept whatever happens, to go with it, and to look for a balance between maintaining my own vision while allowing it the flexibility to adapt to the kids and the situation.